July 1, 2024

Being online kind of sucks.

Being online today especially sucks.

It feels like every website in the known universe is colluding to see how much money they can shake out of you, doesn't it?

Earlier this year, I read the 2004 book "ttyl" by Lauren Myracle (at the request of a friend). Following three high schoolers through the epic highs and lows of their junior year, the book is told entirely through AIM. Plot points are interspersed with online quizzes and references to the Hot New Blogs of the day. Some of those blogs still exist. And as I spent hours clicking through the neverending onion of weblinks, I said to myself: That looks fun.

So I thought I'd teach myself HTML and see where it goes. Welcome to the first iteration of my website <3

July 23, 2024

It's kind of hard to believe that July is almost over, but maybe I'm just dreading that I'll have another semester of graduate school coming up at the end of August. I only have two more semesters until I've finished my MS in Professional Writing -- I love my program, but I think I'll be much happier with the shape of my life once I'm no longer in school. It will also be the first time I haven't been in school since I started kingergarten, so I think I'm due the break.

I'm a little frustrated by my creative output for this summer so far; I've hardly written anything lately. I wrote a whole nothing in the month of June. Which is fine and I shouldn't feel too bad about it, but I also know that it's nearly impossible for me to do any creative writing while my semesters are in session. It's hasty to call the rest of my year shot, but it might be.

But the feeling that I'm not reaching my optimal creative output is something I want to challenge, too, for a couple of reasons. There isn't one "correct" production volume of creative work, and it would counterproductive to, like, artistic integrity to impose quantifiable minimums on myself like that. When I worked retail, I almost exclusively worked early morning shipment shifts, where employees were given a minimum number of items they were expected to unbox and place on the sales floor per hour. UPH. Writing shouldn't have that.

I've said for a long time that my relationship to writing will probably improve when I finish my degree. I'll be able to relax into a comfortability with words, where I feel less like I'm making assignment-driven empty content-slog and start carefully considering the look, feel, and sound of writing, in a way I've really lost touch with.

I miss writing sentences with a punch. I miss writing that provoked thought. I miss how I used to love to write.

Anyway. In other news, my cat, Midnight, who I've lovingly embedded a million images of in this page, just had to go to the emergency vet this week after once again pissing on the sofa. This is very unusual behavior for him! And after celebrating his second year of being in my life! Once again, it doesn't seem that he has a UTI or and blockages, just inflammation. He's received some painkillers that have him konked. He'll be going on a urinary diet soon, so here's hoping.

Just announced today, Origami Angel, band that I love, are releasing their next album on my birthday. Happy MF birthday to me. "Dirty Mirror Selfie" and "Where Blue Light Blooms, their first singles off the album are fucking fantastic, calling upon their riff-driven self-awareness that I've always loved. Between this and SOPHIE's family posthumously releasing her final works on the same day, I think I'm set for a stellar birthday. Wahoo.

I also have some exciting travel planned for the rest of this year. I keep pinching myself.

July 31, 2024

I'm contemplating making something akin to an online manifesto, but I don't know that I really have that much to say that hasn't been said before.

The lit mag Bleating Thing recently appreciated the people who compliment their website, remarking that their website and logo were deliberately created independently of the usual limitations of popular low-cost design sites (like Canva). Their qualm isn't with Canva itself, but that they seek to work against "homogenized aesthetics." In case you couldn't tell from my own... website... This resonates with me.

There's always going to be a dominant presence of the things that are physically and financially accessible, right? Wordpress, or another similar website builder, is low-cost and easy to use. But a website builder has limitations. Canva's free program has limitations. They both have encoded house styles that are difficult to break free from. In the gentlest way I can think to say it, the aesthetic overprevalence gets tired.

Let me be clear that I don't say this as a method of blowing smoke up my own ass about my website, because that certainly isn't my intention. More so a critique of the limited website-building-market. I've used Wix, Weebly, Wordpress, and Duda (I do not recommend the latter), and I find their finished products to be nearly interchangeable. This is a position that is without nuance, but I stand by it.

So maybe I think more people should take the web-design reigns in their own hands and code something for themselves. Put yourself closer to the technical means of web-production. I am astonished by the flexibility of html and I am continuously learning about new things I can accomplish with it. This, too, is free.

Many of my friends that I've talked to about my website have expressed interest in making a website of their own, and I WANT THAT MORE THAN ANYTHING. I LOVE THE VIBES. In a future iteration of this website, I want to add a page that functions similarly to the grrl.com pills page, a simple page that leads the viewer to a string of other unexpected websites. I want to link my friends' websites to my website. A creative form of cross-promotion, no?

On another website, I'm working to create an audio auto-player, with the intention of it being a webpage that just. Plays music. That's its whole purpose. It also may emulate an old Spotify playlist called "Hipster House Party" that my partner loved. These are things that, to my knowledge, aren't as possible in a popular web builder!

I'm sure I have blind spots. Feel free to call me on them. I just want to see people experience a full range of creative expression in online spaces, revitalizing older forms of the internet that were much more fun to use. We've gotta preserve the good and happy parts of this life!!!